As he gets dressed to go off into battle on the Lancelot, Suzaku wonders why he fights and realizes that he has no choice but to. He thinks back to a time when he had learned that Lelouch and Nunnally were officially dead in order to deceive Britannia. The year was 2010, and the two had been going to live with the Ashfords. Lelouch thought that Suzaku was going with his teacher Toudou, but it turns out that Suzaku couldn’t contact him, and he was instead going to Britannia headquarters. Before they had parted ways, Nunnally had asked him not to forget that there are always people who would extend a helping hand - that’s something she learned from her mother. The two had hoped to see each other again, but Suzaku had felt that a nuisance like him wouldn’t get to meet them again. He had known that their peaceful time as children was over, and he suspected that Lelouch knew that too.
On that summer day, they had left something important in themselves and tried to mark the end, but Suzaku felt guilty because he had created that end by killing his father. He had wanted to talk with Lelouch about what he did, but the words didn’t come out, and he was relieved when Lelouch spoke first and vowed to destroy Britannia. Suzaku hadn’t been able to reply to that and had felt that Lelouch that was trying to kill his father, but he thought that this was probably the wrong answer. He believed that he and only he understood, however ever since that time, the time inside of him has stopped. He now thinks that if he had been able to talk with Lelouch back then, their futures might have been a bit different, and they could have looked for a little happiness. Things didn’t turn out that way, and, as he now finishes suiting up, Suzaku sees Lelouch as both his first enemy and man who became the worst friend.
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