It's Barbara's sixtieth birthday and the family braces itself for the celebrations. Ted has made the plans - a whole weekend together in a remote country cottage. On the way there the family suffer boredom and have their hopes of food shattered by finding out Ted left the supplies behind. The family have trouble getting into the cottage, discovering the agency have double booked the cottage and rented it out to another family. Martin gives the recommendation of staying a nearby hotel, en route the van breaks down in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night. Ted and Martin go searching for a farm, Martin falls down a ditch, Phil has a run in with a barn owl and Linda becomes quite annoyed with Jean's constant shouting about her personal problems. Unable to find the farm, Ted and Martin catch a lift from two hillbilles only to be robbed by them. Reflecting on the nights horrid events, the family find Doreen has had a mobile phone in her bag all the time.
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