Impressed by a letter from Bernie Class assuring him that he can get rich writing hit songs, Mike writes a song, ""Gonna Buy Me a Dog"" (actually a Boyce-Hart tune!) and submits it to the High Class Music Publishing Company (which also does Greeting Cards, Storm Windows, Reconditioned Vacuum Cleaners, Magazine Subscriptions, and Door Lettering!). Once there, he greets another aspiring songwriter: a little old man. When Bernie (who is terribly in adept at pronouncing Mike's last name) accepts Mike's song and tells him he'll sell the song to Joanie Janz, the greatest singer in show business, Mike calls Micky, his mother, and Mr. (Tim?) Conway, whom he met on a bus five years ago. At home, The Monkees imagine a sequence set to ""Gonna Buy Me a Dog"" featuring them traipsing all over the lawn with - what else? - dogs. Having pawned his guitar for $99.95, Mike pays the amount for legal fees and incidentals, but asks Bernie to prove he'll sell the song to Joanie Janz; Bernie personally phones Ja
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