If you're like most of us, you stormed out of your midnight viewing of The Matrix Reloaded saying to yourself, "Man, was that terrible! When I come back in six months to see The Matrix Revolutions, they had better balance out those ponderous scenes of two characters quietly discussing the minutiae of the plot with a lot more tedious action sequences where I can't tell what is going on. And instead of involving Neo, Morpheus and Trinity, you know, the characters we care about, it should mainly focus on people we've never seen before. Like a whiny kid and a butch chick with a crew cut. Give them prominent roles! Now hurry up and refill my Dew, I already bought tickets to see this again at 2:35 AM!"
If your conversation mirrored ours in any way, then you're in luck: The Matrix Revolutions delivers on all bullet points! Abandoning all the pseudo-philosophical mumbo-jumbo that for a brief window had desperate college professors teaching lectures on the original movie, Revolutions instead dials the THX up to 11 and hopes you don't notice because your eardrums are too busy rupturing. Your enjoyment also depends heavily on understanding the plot of Reloaded, which was mathematically proven to be impossible in a Harvard study. And to top it off, there's a healthy dose of old-fashioned, ham-fisted blasphemy thrown in for good measure.
Mike, Kevin and Bill jack in to deliver The Matrix series a hearty goodbye "whoa."
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