Colin anchors ""Weird Newscasters,"" with a goofy white guy desperately trying to act street (Greg), an aging female Broadway performer doing a big song and dance number whose extensive plastic surgery begins to collapse (Wayne), and a very strict father whose deadbeat sons are in the studio and has decided it's time for them to get real jobs (Ryan); ""Scenes from a Hat"" are ""like Oklahoma, musicals about various U.S. states,"" ""sumo wrestlers in other professions,"" and ""anecdotes dogs would tell if they appeared on talk shows""; ""Film Dub"" sets Greg, Colin, and Ryan in one day in the doctor's lab; Greg hosts ""Party Quirks,"" with Wayne having a series of stormy love affairs from beginning to end with each person at the party, Colin a serious scientist testing how much annoyance people can stand before cracking, and Ryan a rat traveling through a maze to reach the cameras where he's given either cheese or an electric shock; ""Hats.""
Greg wins, so the rest bumble through an abbreviated ""Irish
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